I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
