so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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