Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
