I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize