i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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