Whod you bang
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
