gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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