Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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