we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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