I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
