Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
