Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
