susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
