So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
