If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
