I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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