found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
