i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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