it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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