he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
