we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
