Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
