Define "chronic" masturbator.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.