Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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  (614): You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts. http://tfl.nu/90f4
  Replies (11) Good night (3529) Bad night (752)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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  (978): That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS. http://tfl.nu/x0o9
  Replies (11) Good night (3231) Bad night (1228)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I get to be your mom.

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  (847): Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth? (312): I get to be your mom. http://tfl.nu/nmh7
  Replies (11) Good night (3888) Bad night (1518)
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  (714): View more from California

  I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.

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  (714): I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go. http://tfl.nu/ktl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2054) Bad night (802)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2816) Bad night (705)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.

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  (902): Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst. http://tfl.nu/a5qa
  Replies (3) Good night (2251) Bad night (728)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous

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  (781): The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous http://tfl.nu/9eck
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (782)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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  (330): Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson. http://tfl.nu/3wwn
  Replies (6) Good night (1362) Bad night (631)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  He's going to be my graduation present to myself.

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  (618): He's going to be my graduation present to myself. http://tfl.nu/441i
  Replies (3) Good night (1340) Bad night (497)
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  (818): View more from California

  I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

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  (818): I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome. http://tfl.nu/6w7h
  Replies (0) Good night (709) Bad night (412)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (408)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina

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  (919): I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that (910): Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina http://tfl.nu/nu6s
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (493)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.

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  (770): You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count. http://tfl.nu/ytdj
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (191)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody

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  (517): I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody http://tfl.nu/wfwi
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.

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  (201): im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever. http://tfl.nu/ehqb
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (185)

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