...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.