Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.