I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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