I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
