I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
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well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well, you know. whores of a feather.