didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
