HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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