my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
