Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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