either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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