remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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