He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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