he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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