I've blown a few things in my day
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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