...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
