I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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