it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
