Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
