I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
They are going to name an STD after you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
