I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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