white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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