Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
