He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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