I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
