plz talk dirty to me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
