I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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