Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
