there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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