Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
