I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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