MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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