she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
