Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
