I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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