you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
