You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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