I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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