Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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