discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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