Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
